It is confirmed, I am seven weeks and one day today.
People around me have asked how come I do not look as ecstatic as I was during my first and second pregnancies. Do not get me wrong but I really feel so blessed and thankful for having been given a chance to be a mom again to another bundle of joy. It is no doubt that my life revolves around my kids and this joy will not be an exception. I just could not express this inner bliss. If there is a postpartum depression, I surmise there is likewise a condition known as pre-partum, which hopefully is shortlived. I just could not put a high-spirit-face. It is probably being overtaken by the fear of going through the pain of cs again (ohh the degree of which is still fresh in my mind), the anticipation of the inevitable physical changes, the sad fact that I could not cover my white hair for the next nine months or so, the forethought of what-if another placenta previa again, or the complications of pregnancy at my age. But do not get me wrong, I am no doubt happy to be expecting again.
My DH and DD are teasing me that the real reason for the gloominess is the anticipation of the inescapable fact that I will grow big and ugly (stated as a matter-of-fact), which would prevent me from continuing on with my blog. I would have wanted to post pictures of me during my previous pregnancy just to prove a point but this may cut short your interest to read on at this very moment. Believe me, whether I was carrying a girl or a boy, I was never a radiant preggy. :(
Selfish as it sounds, it may be one of the reasons indeed. When I belatedly found reprieve in blogging, the thought of cutting it short is appalling. I am quite sure nobody would want to follow a blog with nauseating pictures. So I have resolved to continue blogging and to take pictures of me only in those rare moments when I can still sightly display myself with my fashionable contribution. But when even the rarest moment would escape me, I would just inspire you with beautiful people and things around me. First, I have to overcome this sluggishness or feeling that I could not even do the bare minimum except office work which I am compelled to. Hay. . . challenges . . . challenges. . .
Sorry, this post is so long but it might be worth sharing what my DH did -- in an attempt to empathize with me and in anticipation of the hardship the next nine months will bring. He gave me something that he knew would give me an instant gratification. . .
I wanted to own a white bag for the longest time. However, owing to the fact that I do not have the skill to take care of my bags the way they should be taken cared of, I always deferred. But when I saw this bag, there was an instant connection. Gladly, my DH willingly gave in.
Meet my new baby. . .
Yay! Another reason to do an outfit post. Thanks DH.
TNT!
